I am always indecisive.
Just last year I had time to think carefully about what strand to pick for upcoming senior high school, telling myself “I can worry about it, later.” And the last thing I know is I am going to be Senior High School student, still not knowing what strand to pick, still not knowing what strand fits me the best, if I should pick between, I love doing and I must do.
The thing is, I do not know what I really love, and what I really like. I am always unsure about life. I do know is do love learning new things, but that still doesn’t solve everything.
Especially in the future, I love to teach, to paint, to do pottery, a librarian having her own library sounds good, becoming a doctor, one of the idols like a kpop, join in theater plays, be an actress, and many more. I want to learn so many things, although not in a way school does; we’ve been taking six subjects in 8 hours.
College seems scary, I do not know what to take, I’m afraid that I will never get to enjoy the career that I’ll be having… for the rest of my life. In these cases, I’m thinking if money will make me happy, if I have the time to be with myself; travel, and not be mentally drained.
I like a lot of things, and I sure know I will not stop to find more things that will give me interests, and that it will be endless. But it always takes time to learn things, to achieve things, and there is so many things I want to do, and jobs I want to experience, many professional ones that would cause me to strive and workday and night to study it, but with so little time, I can only pick one. I can feel regret and other negative emotions already as much as I do not want to think and interpret it this way. I guess, ‘I can worry about it later’.
